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February 26th 2009

Billionaire Advice

It's a great time to buy Real Estate
For the past week or so I have been boycotting all Network and Cable news. It’s gotten to the point where every time I turn on CNN or NBC it’s so painful, I dream of placing my hand in a blender just so I can go to the emergency room and enjoy large quantities of Dilaudid.

So what have I been doing with my free time?

Well, I’ve been spending quite a bit of it on Twitter and Facebook jabbering mindlessly with old and new friends. It’s so refreshing. No burning buildings, plane crashes or economic Armageddon.

In addition, I’ve been watching a lot of reality television. Perhaps too much.

Yesterday, after I ripped a copy of Death In Venice out of my three year old’s hands, I brought him upstairs to watch American Idol.

“American Idol — How Lowbrow”

“Hell yes it’s lowbrow and I loved it.”

I can’t say as much for my son. He was cool with the first three contestants — but once that spikey haired kid started singing the Rolling Stones, my boy began flipping out.

“I don’t like this Daddy. Turn it off now! I want the other one. The girl.”

After swinging his wiffle ball bat at the television a few times he sprinted over to his room and cried on his pillow until he fell asleep.

That dude won’t be getting my son’s vote.

I skipped the evening news and went down to my office and read some very import stuff on the internet. My favorite thing was an article about family pets who use Twitter. There was also a cool piece discussing whether or not astronomers believe in aliens.

‘Trust me, there are aliens. I’ve met a few at my open houses. You should be frightened.”

Cut to the chase.

So I woke up this morning. Brought my son to daycare. Came home. Went to the gym. It’s in my basement. Turned on Regis and Kelly — and guess who appeared.

The Donald. For those of you from other galaxies. I’m talking about Donald Trump.

Anderson Cooper who was standing in for Regis threw out a question about the economy, probing Donald as to where he was putting his money.

I don’t remember exactly what Trump said, but he mentioned that he just signed a contract to purchase the Lowes Island Club, a property that he has been after for years.

He then looked at Anderson and Kelly and said, “It’s a great time to buy.”

What did Donald Trump say?

“IT’S A GREAT TIME TO BUY.”

What does Jesse Kaye say?

“ITS A GREAT TIME TO BUY IF YOU DO IT RIGHT.”

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